We all have a wounded child inside…but we all survived childhood….so become your own therapist- heal it and live inJOY! (Part 2)

Childhood is over, but you still have a wounded inner child (the ‘little you” that wants to be heard, acknowledged and nurtured. And like I said before, a healthy adult relationship cannot give that to you. So, the part of you that survived childhood and keeps you alive is the part that you can use to heal your wounded inner child. We’ll call this the ADULT part.

I have devised a simple method to mature the wounded inner child and have found it to be extremely successful. The more you use it, the more inJOY you’ll be!

It is a dialogue process between the adult and inner child part.

Generally, whenever you feel something ‘not good’ ,whether it be an ache or a pain or a negative emotional state it is a good idea to try this dialogue (this is very often the inner child expressing itself and needing nurturance).

Expect this process to feel foreign or silly or pointless in the beginning or that you don’t know how to do it. In time with practice, that will change. Your inner child has been communicating with you in many non-verbal ways, so the language will follow in time.

1. ASK + LISTEN

a. All you need to have is an intention to access your inner child/’little you’.

b. Ask it what’s going on…

c. And JUST LISTEN. At first you might here nothing or think that you are going crazy…but keep at it…and you will start to hear it express itself.

For example:

          Your adult part: “What’s going on?”

          Your child: “I feel sad”

Give your child permission to feel that way (often we were told why we must not feel that way or that we were wrong to feel that way…which invalidated us and caused more frustration and feelings of rejection. Or, our parents (they did the best they knew how) tried to change our negative emotions into something happy without acknowledging them, so we didn’t ever learn how to cope with negative emotion. Or we learnt that they were bad…or worse…that expressing them didn’t help- so we shut them down and DEPRESSED them).

2. ACKNOWLEDGE + EXPLORE (Think how you would lovingly deal with a small, upset child, or how you would have liked to have been talked to as a child and apply it).

Adult: “it’s ok to be sad”. “What are you sad about?”

Child: “I feel lonely”

3. REASSURE

Adult: “You’ll never be alone, I’ll always be here with you…we will always be together” – A very powerful statement that bonds the child to the adult part and begins an intimate relationship, sometimes for the first time. The truth is that wherever your adult goes, so does your child. So this is a guarantee of never being abandoned (again) that you can make to the child.

  

Feel free to change the words according to what feels right for you!

This is the first half of the healing dialogue exercise- the more challenging part. For now, practice these steps and next time we will complete the process.

Wishing you more joy.

Live inJOY!

I saw this and I liked it

A Secret Scrolls message from Rhonda Byrne

Creator of The Secret

From The Secret Daily Teachings

Remember, if you are criticizing, you are not being grateful. If you are blaming, you are not being grateful. If you are complaining, you are not being grateful. If you are feeling tension, you are not being grateful. If you are rushing, you are not being grateful. If you are in a bad mood, you are not being grateful.

Gratitude can transform your life. Are you allowing minor things to get in the way of your transformation and the life you deserve?

May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne

The Secret... bringing joy to billions

Live inJOY!

We all have a wounded child inside…but we all survived childhood….so become your own therapist- heal it and live inJOY! (Part 1)

Nobody has had a perfect childhood.  This means that together with the good experiences, we also have had wounding ones. The difficulty arises since the wounding experiences continue to run in the background of our minds, unconsciously shaping our present reality.

Since none of us have had perfect childhoods (for a perfect reason spiritually I believe…discussion for another time), we all have a wounded child to a greater or lesser degree. If you find yourself not having a good day, or you keep attracting situations that do not bring you joy, or worse, make you feel rage, fear, shut down or panic….you can bet that YOUR INNER CHILD is running the show- not YOUR ADULT.

The undisputed basic law of physics says that: the entire world is made up of energy, constantly moving from one place to another, and that energy is never lost or destroyed, only transferred from one place to another! Therefore, all the experiences we have had haven’t just disappeared. Instead they formed who we are, and are constantly running in the background of our minds and lives, affecting our reality. So, eventhough you are an adult, there is still a ‘little you’ who reacts when something in the here and now resembles something that caused major discomfort (on any level) in the past.

So, in a nutshell, if you’re feeling something other than joy, it’s probably your wounded child wanting to finally be listened to, acknowledged and supported…possibly for the first time. Gosh- how determined for love and joy our little sad, angry or terrified child is!

Instead of ‘self medicating’ with things like food or drink or blame or denial or shut down or manic behavior….which only delays the opportunity for growth…rather HEAL IT!!! The truth is that if you are reading this, you survived childhood, despite how terrible it may have felt then (you probably won’t remember…you had to depress or suppress it to survive). And this ADULT part that can now do for itself, can help heal the wounded inner child who was helpless all those years ago and totally at the mercy of others and the world.

The good (and bad) news is that childhood is over…and you can never be re-parented by another again (not in a healthy way anyway)….but the part in you that survived and that can choose and work and drive and feed yourself, and get away and enact change is within you too.

So you are constantly in a partnership with your child and adult….and your child still wants to be parented! Be the parent your child always wanted!

So whatever it is you’re feeling bad about- you feel rejected, or afraid or ‘I’m bad’- it’s an opportunity to heal inside. And the more your adult part heals your inner child, the happier you will be. This is not rocket science- and it’s a lot easier than you think…all it takes is the desire to be change and be happier.

Always remember that you have a right to stay wounded or sick, just like you have a right to be happy and well. It’s just a matter of using your FREE CHOICE to change or not change. But since the reason for creation is change and expansion (my belief and that of millions of enlightened people over thousands of years), to not change is like swimming upstream…a constant battle. And the other thing I’m sure you’ve noticed is that ‘life’ repeatedly sends you the same lesson over and over. The names and places might change but the lesson stays the same, and when you ‘graduate’ over time, those lessons decrease or disappear all together. So, ultimately is there free choice? Or in order to be joyous in this world is change inevitable?

Wow- enough information for one day…in the next post I’ll give an exercise on how to dialogue with the inner child and HEAL it!

Destination: more JOY

Live inJOY!!!

Anger vs Assertiveness

I find that many people do not understand the difference between anger and assertiveness. In actuality they are on opposite sides of the I AM EMPOWERED/ENOUGH continuum. Let’s have a comparative look at the two states of being:





So, it is clear that these two states of being are RADICALLY different!

Live inJOY!

inJOY's intro

The aim of this blog is to promote self development. Whether it be ancient religions and spiritual practices, quantum physics, Kabbalah, self-help books, psychotherapy or holistic healing- the underlying message and goal always seems to be the same. In fact all the great authors of the self development era that we are living through- Caroline Myss, Gregg Braden, Esther Hicks, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, to name but just a few of my favorites, are all talking about it- EXPANSION.

It is my belief that any thoughts, feelings or behaviors that are non-expansive to you or the environment defy creation. In fact, it seems that the entire physical reality that we live in was created to give the opportunity for expansion. And the good thing is that when you ARE involved in expansion, the outcome is something positive- whether it be miracles, meaningfulness, or inner peace. Ultimately, these are all aspects of JOY, which in turn causes more expansion….and more joy….and so it goes on.

In fact my aim is to increase the experience of JOY. We are all looking for more of it, and few people feel as though they have enough of it.

Somebody once said “we’re all looking for the city of happiness, when it’s all in the state of mind.”

Live inJOY!